A small cozy cafe in downtown Barcelona. Four tables, snow-white serviettes, the proprietress wearing an apron of the same color, all tables elegantly set, and a lot of climbing flowers. Apart from ours, only one table was occupied by an elderly couple and a middle-aged attractive woman, all having tea with some pastries I had never seen before. From the courteous manner in which the old man treated the younger woman (I thought she looked like Carmen, but all attractive Spanish women do to foreigners), one could guess she was the old couple’s guest. The man discretely signaled the cafe owner and she turned on the music, a quiet melody like a slow tango. The old man rose and ceremoniously invited his guest to dance. After several careful pas they returned to the table, the man courteously seated her and repeated the ritual with his old wife, with the only difference that she lightly pushed him away when he attempted a closer embrace.
We had been in Spain for ten days and knew that we were witness to an outdoor family reception. Most likely the old couple lived in the same building. It was “going-out,” a widespread social phenomenon. In Spain, if you are invited to dinner or just to have coffee, it does not mean that you are being invited over. Most likely to a cafe or restaurant where you can spend several hours over a cup of coffee or a bottle of wine. No one will give you an angry look.
Spaniards appear fond of “going out” this way, regardless of age, social or property status. Going out in the Spanish context is a comprehensive notion, ranging from leaving one’s flat for coffee to throwing a big party at an expensive restaurant, marking an occasion or for the kicks of it. Anyway, it means resting or celebrating away from one’s home (I am reminded of the good old Soviet tradition of celebrating something on office premises). Economists say that Spaniards spend a considerable part of their incomes (up to 30%) on such goings out. And this is no obstacle to fashion or social habits, especially for the younger generation, as we could see on many occasions while in Spain.
In fact, going out is so popular that very many people in Spain do not even shop for coffee or tea, preferring to have it in a public place, even on weekdays, even early in the morning, on their way to work. In such cases they leave the building, walk a few feet, turn, climb down a short flight of stairs, and step into a basement cafe, often in the same building. Incidentally, a small cup of coffee in the morning is all many Spaniards have for breakfast, contrary to what the doctor says. Probably because going out in the evening often lasts well into the night, especially in the scorching summer. The Iberian Peninsula is dominated by night life. Often you see group of young people leave their table at a restaurant and walk over to the next restaurant and sit at a table there. Then the next. They can spend the night like that. On weekends or holidays (“every second day of the calendar is a holiday,” says a Spanish joke), young people go out for 2-3 days, starting, say, in Barcelona and ending somewhere in Seville or Valencia.
To understand their love of eating and drinking in public, one probably has to stay longer in Spain. Maybe a national trait or hallmark of a civil society, or reluctance to waste time cooking, washing the dishes, tidying up the room, etc., for life is short.
It is hard to deny that the time-and energy-consuming procedures involved in receiving guests in a Ukrainian home noticeably dampen the pleasure of meeting with friends or relatives. Even before the guests come the hostess can hardly stand on her feet from sheer physical exertions. And there is so much work ahead! And if she is too sensitive she suffers from a severe inferiority complex, unsure of the quality of food and drink on the table, afraid that her guests will criticize her afterward. Now a restaurant or cafe is an altogether different story.
However, the Spanish option has its negative aspects. Why buy expensive furniture, table silver, glassware, or gilded samovars unless you can put them all on the table under the guests’ admiring and envious eyes? Otherwise many people will find their wealth and even life totally senseless.
Another factor explaining the Spanish manner of receiving guests is that their countless cafes and restaurants are very different from their Ukrainian counterparts, primarily because each is well adjusted to the financial capacity of its clientele.
