Olha is thirty now, but looks forty. She is a petite, thin, dark- haired woman with an emaciated face. She was brought back to her Ukrainian homeland last Friday. Before that, she lived for a year in Algeria, suffering terrible abuse from her husband. Olha was under lock and key for seven out of the twelve months she spent in that country. Luckily, one day when the television was on, she managed to call the embassy and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine saved this Transcarpathian resident from her domestic hell. But her two children are still with her husband in Algeria. The Ukrainian Olha Fitsai and the Algerian Seddiqi Merzaq worked at the same enterprise in the Czech Republic. They started a relationship and eventually had children, two sons named Adam Fitsai and Seddiqi Najib. Then her common-law husband’s attitude changed: he began running around, verbally abusing Olha, and abusing her daughter from her first marriage. “He hated my daughter, he would kick her out of the house and refuse to buy food for her,” Olha says. In the Czech Republic, however, this kind of problem can be solved rather easily. Olha had little trouble contacting La Strada-Ukraine, a women’s rights organization, and she soon went home with her three children.
But that’s not the end of the story. Seddiqi Merzaq tracked down his former common-law wife in Transcarpathia, and they reconciled. Olha quit her job and the family went to Algeria for permanent residence. “I wanted my kids to have a father,” Olha explains her not-so-logical action. Her daughter stayed behind with Olha’s mother. Merzaq had promised to take her too, but at the last minute “he ran out of money to buy her a ticket.”
After a few months of relatively peaceful life, Merzaq resumed his brutal treatment. “He beat me, called me names and taught the children to do this, he forced them to call their grandmother ‘mother’,” says Olha. “He would turn me out of the kitchen. Everyone would eat at the table, like humans, but I was left behind the door like a dog.” Then Merzaq locked Olha in her room. As a result of the never-ending conflicts, the children became high- strung, fought with each other, and were terribly frightened of their father. “He loves the younger son very much, but not the older one, who bears my surname,” Olha says. But it was for the sake of the children that Merzaq brought Olha to Algeria. To formalize fatherhood, he had to marry her. Olha, however, refused pointblank to marry this domestic tyrant. But on March 15, 2005, an Algerian court pronounced Olha and Merzaq legitimate spouses. Olha signed the relevant documents under pressure from her husband, who threatened to take the children to the Sahara to die and to kill her, to boot. Olha found out what those documents were only later, because they were all in Arabic. The only plus is that the court ruled that only the younger son is Seddiqi’s child, while the elder one is exclusively Olha’s son.
According to Mykola Tochytsky, head of the Consular Division at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine, this is rather a typical situation for countries with a particular judicial system, where decisions are usually made in favor of the father. Currently, two Ukrainian women are in a similar plight in Libya. One of them could have been flown home, but she refused to go without her children. It is not so difficult to rescue a Ukrainian woman: problems arise when it comes to bringing children home. Consular institutions in Algeria and Ukraine are now trying to return the elder son to Olha: their efforts will soon be joined by those of the Prosecutor-General’s Office and the Ministry of Internal Affairs.
Olha told this sad story to the general public not to make people sympathize with her or rail against cruel men. The point is that women who make the fateful decision to marry a foreigner, especially a Muslim, must be aware of all the possible consequences of this step.
COMMENTARY
Some good advice
Kateryna CHEREPAKHA, an expert at the La Strada women’s rights center, told The Day that there are ways to avoid problems. First, you should take a closer look at your prospective husband — invite him to this country, visit his country and observe their way of life, and only then decide on whether to marry. You should also study the laws of the country in which you may end up living, especially marriage laws; read some literature and newspaper articles on that country. There are special Web sites for “foreigner-hunteresses,” which post details not just about everyday life and culture but also intimate life with all kinds of nationals. “It is also recommended to sign a marriage contract,” Ms. Cherepaha says. “This is now considered standard practice in almost all countries.” As for the “riskiest” nationalities, Ukrainian women most often fail to get along with none other than Muslim men: there is too great a difference in mentality. Yet, human rights centers also receive complaints from wives of Americans and Europeans. No one knows the exact number of brides who have gone abroad, but human rights organizations have already received tens of thousands of complaints from them.
