Snowy calmness reigns in the children’s SOS village in Brovary. Here, on a separate piece of land, far from the central streets of the city, there are 13 identical two-storied houses. The paths from one house to another are cleared from snow, and it seems that the place is empty. Suddenly I hear children’s laughter coming from somewhere: a mother is pulling a sledge with two girls and a boy aged three or four. This is not their biological mother, but a social one. Her life with children is no different than the life of a usual mother: in the same way she brings them to the kindergarten or school, and in the evening she helps them with their homework, prepares food, dresses, organizes their leisure, and teaches them to adapt to life in society. But the difference is that these are not her biological children; she has decided to work her whole life as a mother for orphans, who are deprived of parental care. She receives some money for this, and, more importantly, love of four or even six children at once.
BIOLOGICAL FAMILY IS THE BEST WAY TO RAISE CHILDREN
There has not been much talk about the work of this children’s village in Ukraine, because the new form of upbringing orphans has only recently been implemented on the territory of our state. So far the only village of this kind is operating in Brovary, near Kyiv. It has been established by the International Charity Organization, SOS Children’s Village. The construction works and the search and training of employees (mothers, their assistants, psychologists, social pedagogues, etc.) cost 1.8 million euros. In 2011, similar projects will appear in Luhansk and later in Zaporizhia and in the Crimea.
“Children’s villages are a form of raising children who are deprived of parental care. They exist in 131 countries of the world. Our main task is to create SOS families (an abbreviation to social society) for children to be brought up under conditions resembling real families as much as possible,” said Oleksandr Polishchuk, head of the Brovary SOS Village.
“The process of establishing such a village in Ukraine, which was very painstaking and lengthy, began in 2006 or so. At the beginning, our families lived in rented apartments, and in late December they moved into new houses. Nine families raising 42 children are now residing in Brovary. Our village can house a total of 13 families, which will appear in the near future. The project falls within the framework of the international and Ukrainian legislation, so the global goal of our organization is to destroy the very notion of orphanhood. A full-fledged biological family is best for raising a child. That is why we are trying to create for the children who come to us such upbringing conditions that would give them love and care, and in the end make them socially integrated and maximum successful people.
“We have our own concept of children’s selection. We conduct a very detailed survey on whether our village is a perfect form to bring up a concrete child, recommended to us by social services. We study their needs and history; if the child is not very young, i.e., over five or six years old, we ask them whether they agree to move to the SOS family. It is very important that the child get acquainted with his/her future mother, family, so we bring the child to the village for a sort of excursion, because as psychologists say, when a child is taken to an orphanage or boarding school, he/she receives the same kind of shock as an adult kidnapped by bandits.”
In such SOS villages children can live since their birth until they reach 14 or 18, after which they move to a Youth House. Youth houses are home to young men and women who study at university or work. They also learn how to manage the money allotted by the foundation, which is done under the supervision of social workers and psychologists. After reaching the age of 24, the alumni choose their further destiny on their own, but once they face problems or unexpected circumstances, they can always appeal to the SOS family.
ONE MOTHER FOR SIX CHILDREN
One of the principles of the village’s operation is to never separate biological brothers and sisters. So it appeared that some mothers received not one or three, but a total of five children at once to be raised. The Day met such a mother on a visit to Brovary. Mother Oksana (we don’t mention the woman’s surname for ethical reasons. – Author) has been bringing up five biological brothers and sisters for 2.5 years now: Valeria, 12, who is the eldest one, Kyrylo, Halia, Artem, and Bohdan. Later the family adopted the youngest one – four-year-old Sviatoslav. Unfortunately, we were not lucky enough to meet all the members of the family, because the oldest children were still at school, while only the youngest two children were at home, Bohdan and Sviatoslav, who are not going to the kindergarten at the moment because of quarantine. It happened so that The Day of our visit to the SOS village was Slavko’s birthday: the first one in a real family, not in the orphanage where he had lived before.
“Today Mom and I will buy a cake, and in the evening guests will come,” Sviatoslav said.
“We will wish you happy birthday and wish you to be healthy and happy. We may pull your ears,” Bohdan added.
“Besides, we will eat birthday gruel,” Oksana prompts. “We have a tradition to eat milk porridge every evening, but today this will be a special one, a birthday porridge.”
Every SOS family has its own traditions: somebody eats milk porridge every day, goes to church on Sundays, or watches TV exclusively in the evening. Basically, these families are living according to the same norms as usual ones. Some of them even have domestic animals to make children feel at home and adapt to family life faster. Oksana’s family does not have cats or dogs, although the youngest boys ask their mom to bring some. The woman explained that at the moment she is physically unable to start doing this. First, the children should get accustomed to the thought that their new house is their permanent one, because the youngest boys left their home in their former apartment.
Oksana explained that the process of adaptation and getting accustomed to each other may last for weeks or months, because every child has his/her own whims, pains, and problems. For example, when strangers come, Slavunio (as his mother calls him) can slightly tap on her leg or stomach with his fist. This is the way he relieves tension or fear that unknown men and women will take his mother away. In spite of this, he started calling her mother almost since the first day they began to live together.
“It was very strange, when we sat at a served table for dinner or supper, and the boys put their legs on the table, not the chair, and instead of eating the bread they threw it on the floor,” Oksana shared her experience. “Now they already know how to behave at the table; they have learned to help me around the house; they have become polite, almost little gentlemen, but it took me so much effort to achieve this. During the initial two weeks of our living together I asked the SOS village administration not to come to my place for a check: it was so difficult for me. Now we have become one big and friendly family, which soon can adopt new members (by the end of the year, twice as many children will be living in the SOS village, as it will acquire new members. – Author)”
Oksana gives a simple response to the question about what brought her to the job of a professional mother: it should have been this way. She has worked her whole life with people in the personnel department, tried to find approach to everyone, and was brought up in a family where great attention was paid to the children, so she is doing the same now. And when she saw an advertisement offering a job of a mother to women, she immediately dialled the number provided.
CHILDREN ARE IN THE FOCUS OF ATTENTION
Nearly 3,000 women responded to the ad, but the Charity Foundation SOS Children’s Village selected only nine of them. Oleksandr Polishchuk explains that many candidates did not have the motivation sought by the representatives of the village. Some wanted to receive a dwelling, while others, regular financial support. The mothers manage their family budgets on their own, and in addition to their wages, the Charity Foundation gives them money to buy food for the children and for their pocket money, whereas they needed women who were ready to give their whole self to children. The village does not have any married couple so far. Polishchuk thinks that it would be good if the children were brought up by father and mother, but on the other hand there is a risk that the family will have their own children, and this may make the social children feel jealous, or they can receive a psychological trauma as a result of the parents’ divorce.
“It is very important to foster in children love for their home and new mother,” Polishchuk added. “So it is necessary for our children to understand that they will be loved whether they healthy or sick, obedient or not, etc. Sometimes children check their mother: How many wrong deeds will she be able to forgive? To what extent does she loves them? However, this is a necessary process of adaptation. Since biological family is very important for children, we try to establish contacts with the children’s parents or relatives. So, 20 of our children communicate with their biological families.”
At first sight it seems that life in the village is simple and easy. But there are a lot of problems: mothers should find an approach to every child and win their love. The employees of the village should resolve the psychological, legal and other problems of children, such as registering birth certificates or identification codes, because not all of them have these. In case of necessity, they should conduct a treatment course. In their turn, children should get accustomed to life in a full-fledged family and feel that they will not be left in the lurch. For the moment these problems are being successfully resolved.
