I have heard so many political science masters talk about the partition of this country! The command “Cast off” was first issued in Severodonetsk [sever is “north” in Russian. – Ed.]. But the gloomy orange clouds were quickly dispersed, and the team that had issued the command got hold of this state’s entire territory. There seems to be no necessity now for a symmetrical answer, as there is no Pivdennofrankivsk [pivden is “south” in Ukrainian. – Ed.] and no team that wishes to cast the Hutsul raft of four oblasts off the Dnipro banks. Oddly enough, the absence of necessity does not affect the forecasts. Fatal predictions keep flowing every quarter of the year from “reliable” sources. The latest of them is that the western regions will break away if there are no reforms. Looks like a Maya calendar or an asteroid flying smack into Kyiv. Although I always feel affection for reformers, I do not sympathize with them this time. Enough of scary tales!
Just look at the way political kitchen chefs behave! On any pretext, they will throw a casserole on the floor, splash the borsch out the window, divide the stove, saw off the tables, and be ready to cut the apprentices in half. The apprentices are you and me – the ordinary people who give a start, as any sound-minded person will do if warned about the fall of the roof in their house. If we don’t join the Customs Union, we will break up; if we don’t carry out reforms, we’ll break up; if we carry them out too fast, we’ll break up… Talking “about it” in our political science milieu boils down to apocalyptic forecasts of disintegration. Various theories are used to endorse this idea – from ethnographic differences to Gazprom’s schemes. They are now talking about other countries’ examples and that the West, in a broad sense, will take the West, in the Ukrainian sense, just to give the finger to the rest of the world. A platform has been suggested, as usual, to substantiate the clear vision of prospects: it is the current practice in China and Taiwan, the two Koreas, and it used to be so in the two Germanys – they were or are vying for the right to present their best to the world. I will not challenge the logic and audacity of the new platform. I will only say that the thralldom of a theory is more terrible than a dungeon. This only impairs the life of convicts and those at large. According to Professor Trofim Lysenko’s doctrine, crossbreeding tomatoes with peas is supposed to bring forth potted tomatoes. But healthy reality proved to be stronger than the biologist’s projects. Far from all the theoretically-grounded ideas materialize – especially in inexact and unnatural sciences, such as political science. Some countries may be lying in ruins for decades but stop short of disintegrating. Suffice it to recall Somalia. Or sometimes very similar nations, such as Czechs and Slovaks, may suddenly decide to live separately. You will see how difficult it is to make forecasts in this delicate sphere if you watch the people around you. A wife and a husband may be totally different but still be living together. In another family, both spouses may be clever, good-looking, and rich – but still they divorce. The same thing is with countries. You can’t possibly guess what it will be like in reality. If there were genuine political psychics who could know what is in the widow, they would be kept clear of casinos and held closely guarded at state-owned dachas.
Let us think a little. Who and why is deliberately carving this country and walking around it like the circus magician Kio used to do around the box he was sawing through in different directions? For the thrill of it? Because all horrible things are attracted by the magnet of another cataclysm? To go on record as prophet, should the forecast come true? Or do we hear the voices of hypnotizers, who want to make high-rise dwellers believe that they have wings on their backs to fly with like doves?
CHOOSING NAMES FOR A TERRIBLE SITUATION
Economic and political-science forecasts are poles apart. If you can tell inflation from stagnation and retrocession from recession, you will understand where the country is going to. Let me quote an ICU expert’s forecast posted on this country’s main news portal: “Our pessimistic scenario rests on the presumption that a stagnant economy may enter the so-called triple-dip recession in late 2013 or early 2014. Therefore, in our view, stagnation and deflation that slides into a very low inflation are going arm in arm.” Imagining the three graces of our splendid economy in the “Dance of the Little Swans,” I can see that I must buy up sugar, salt, and all the other necessities. There can be no other option if the rise of prices (inflation) and our money’s purchasing power (deflation) in an economy that has ground to a halt (stagnation) results in an as much as a three-fold production slump (recession). A nice expert comment indeed! Is it perhaps the government that asked to convey to the Ukrainians the customary howl “Save as you can!” encoded in the spirit of Harvard rhetoric? In general, a high professional style won’t do to describe what has happened in the files of material production and consumption.
We have stopped being buyers. Come up to any counter that sells primary and secondary necessities, and the seller will tell you how much the demand has dropped in the past two years. It was dropping systematically, from month to month, especially on festive days, when the prospective sales were assessed against the quantity of goods marketed in the previous year. But there were no sales, and the bored sellers at the meat, fish, vegetable, and other, including manufactured goods, sections, would make a helpless gesture and name the main cause of the market paralysis: “People don’t have money.” For some reason, this obvious signal towards economic salvation by encouraging domestic consumption never reached the government. It continued to flaunt macro indicators, increase taxes and duties, and roam around the world cap in hand. This is perhaps common practice in the circles, where stagnation and recession, devaluation and inflation are only the words that characterize the process. These circles will be much more pleased to hear the neutral “recession” instead of the verdict-like “slump.”
NO TO FASCISM OF THE BODY IN OUR SOULS!
Speaking of flowery-style words, it is worthwhile to note the young fast-developing term “lookism.” It did not come to us from a neighboring republic but has also something to do with democracy. It is about societal preferences for the people whose looks are in line with positive stereotypes. In plain words, the unattractive, short, and fat protest against the graceful, slender, and good-looking who skim the cream off their occupational, public, and sexual pursuits. The good-looking earn more, find a job easier, and poll more votes in the elections… Those whom nature has not blessed call this phenomenon “fascism of the body” and suggest that the sweet title of beauty queen be replaced with the bland name “genetic celebrity.” Incidentally, this movement is no laughing matter, especially in the US, where prominent public figures, writers, and academics treat lookism the way we do protection from stray dogs. With this term in view, our democracy might as well compete with those in the West, of which I inform the relevant authorities. Don’t be timid in negotiations on some occasional instances of rights and freedoms infringement in this country. Don’t be afraid to insist on removing lookism from our everyday life. Yes, we do have some vestiges, such as “Miss City, Oblast, District, etc.,” but otherwise we adhere to the principle “do not be born beautiful.” Any elections to any office – from village councils to the topmost bodies – show that we have no lookism, i.e., face-control discrimination. You will make sure of this if you see all the billboards and election-campaign leaflets. In this country, ugly-looking people work in all the places to which the much-hyped American system would have denied them access. The US establishment’s facade displays candid eyes, happy smiles, and clever faces – lookism at its worst, whereas we show the truth of life, a thing that disarms you with its sincerity.
